John 16:(5-11)12-15

Twenty-six years ago this week my mother died after living with cancer for six years.  I was nineteen-years-old at the time and had almost no clue about what was going on.  Without faulting anyone, I think that my elders could have done a better job of explaining the situation to me.  No one took me aside and said to me straight out, ‘Your mother is dying and this is what you can expect.”  So I walked around in a fog.  Of course, I had a sense of what was going on and one weekend I caught a ride to Grand Rapids from Chicago so I could see her.  It was the last time I saw her alive.  Someone should have told me that the end was near and that I should say good-bye.  I think that over the past twenty-six years we’ve all learned to deal with death more honestly and openly.  We’ve learned that it’s important to be candid with young people and, in an age appropriate way, with children.  Nowadays, thank goodness, we have a lot more openness and honesty about death.  When people are dying they generally know it.  Often they want to talk honestly with their loved ones, but their loved ones hold back.  One of the most important things a priest can do when a person is dying is to help the family face the situation and say good-bye.

In today’s Gospel lesson Jesus we hear Jesus say good-bye to his disciples .  The setting is the Last Supper.  The forces of darkness are closing in and so, on the night before he dies, Jesus prepares his disciples for his death.

First, Jesus acknowledges the disciples’ sadness .  He says, “’[B]ecause I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your hearts.’”  For all our belief in eternal life and the joys of heaven, death is still a sad time.  Sometimes it is even thought that grief is unchristian because if we really had strong faith we would be happy, not sad, that a person had gone to be with God.  But it is not true that grief in unchristian.  Our Prayer Book explains this perfectly.  In the explanatory notes accompanying the funeral service, the Book of Common Prayer says that the funeral service is a celebration of the Resurrection and is, therefore, characterized by joy.  But it then goes on to say, “This joy, however, does not make human grief unchristian.  The very love we have for each other in Christ brings deep sorrow when we are parted by death. ”  I think the Prayer Book gets it exactly right.  In the same spirit, Jesus prepares his friends for his death by openly and honestly acknowledging their sadness.

Next, Jesus reassures his followers .  He tells them that he is “’going to the Father.’”  Jesus doesn’t go into great detail about belief in the eternal life; or speculate about what heaven might be like; or discuss the philosophical meaning of the eternal soul.  Rather, he simply states his confidence that he came from the Father and so he is going back to the Father.  This thought seems to fill him peace and is a comfort to the disciples.  Sometimes when a person is dying we feel that we have to say something original and profound.  But that isn’t necessarily the case. Of course we want to avoid saying trite and clichéd things, which sometimes are more hurtful than helpful:  “I know just how you feel.  He’s in a better place.  God must have needed another alto in his choir.”  We want to avoid those.  But I think you can’t go wrong by simply stating the honest conviction that we come from God and we return to God.  To simply and honestly express our beliefs helps us to encourage and reassure each other.

Finally, Jesus says that he will still be with his disciples even after his physical death.  For Jesus this abiding presence is the Holy Spirit, the Comforter . Jesus promises them that even after his death the Spirit will be with them to speak to them, to guide them, and to remind them of his words.  Of course, when we die, God doesn’t send the Holy Spirit to be with our survivors.  But it is true that after a death, many people feel the spirit of the departed in ways that are sometimes stronger than when they were alive.  Twenty years after my mother died my grandmother said that she still had conversations with her.  Often we find that the spirit of a person is with us even after their death, and we feel their guidance and their prayers.

On the night before he died, Jesus acknowledged the disciples’ sorrow; told them that he was going to the Father; and promised to send the Holy Spirit.  Jesus could discuss his impending death with openness and honesty because he was part of a community of love.  With the Father and the Holy Spirit Jesus lives in a community of perfect love, the Holy Trinity. We who are members of the Church, the Body of Christ, are also members of a community of love.  The Holy Trinity is the model for our community.  Because we live in a community of love we can face live and death with confidence knowing that we belong to each other and to God. Amen.

 “Sunday’s Readings,” The Living Church, 3 June 2007.
  Raymond E. Brown, The Gospel According to John (XIII – XXI) (New York: Doubleday, 1970), 704.
  The Book of Common Prayer 1979, 507.
  Brown, 704.
  Brown, 706.